Anxiety doesn’t usually arrive out of nowhere. It develops quietly, often after long periods of pushing, coping, managing, being “fine”, until one day your nervous system taps you on the shoulder and says: I can’t do this like this anymore.

Burnout and anxiety can completely floor you. Just because it isn’t visible doesn’t make it any less real. What I hear so often from people is this sense of confusion and self-doubt, why now? why can’t I cope like I used to?…….especially when they’ve been functioning, caring for others, working, surviving, for a very long time.

Something I’ve been sitting with myself recently is how anxiety often shows up as a protector emotion. It gets a bad reputation, but it usually isn’t trying to harm us. It’s trying to protect us from something underneath.

For me, starting a new course recently stirred up a lot of anxiety. Not because I didn’t want to do it, there was no lovic involved, this was purely involuntary and caught me by surprise. This was because when I slowed down and really listened, I realised what the anxiety was guarding was fear. Fear of getting it wrong. Fear of not knowing enough. Fear of not having worked with these people before. Fear of being exposed. And honestly… that makes complete sense. New experiences activate old survival wiring. Our brains like the familiar, even when the familiar is uncomfortable.

So instead of fighting the anxiety, I asked myself what it needed. I did the things we often forget are allowed as adults. I went for a walk. I listened to music. I talked it through with safe people. I did some research so I felt more prepared. I made sure I had the materials I needed to hand. And I gently reminded myself…..the way I would a child, directly to little me, that this is new, you’re allowed to not be perfect, you don’t have to get it all right first time.

That shift matters. Because anxiety often eases when it feels heard, not dismissed.

This is the work I do in therapy and supervision. We don’t shame anxiety or try to bulldoze it away. We get curious about what it’s protecting you from, and we build safety and capacity around that. We work with your nervous system, not against it. Especially if you’re burnt out, overwhelmed, or exhausted from holding it all together.

If you’re reading this and recognising yourself, diagnosis or not, you’re not weak, broken, or failing. Your system has been working very hard for a very long time.

What about you? Have you had moments like this, where anxiety showed up around something new or important? What helped, even a little?

Stay safe. Stay connected. Take gentle care.

Louise

If this resonates and you’d like to explore working with me in therapy or supervision, you’re very welcome to reach out for a free, no-obligation introductory chat. Finding the right person matters, that’s where healing begins.

LouiseMalyanCounselling@gmail.com