The Chair That Changed Everything (ADHD, Complex Trauma & Feeling Safe Enough to Be)
It sounds ridiculous when I say it out loud.
A chair.
But finding the right chair has genuinely made a huge difference to how I cope, how I work, and how I feel in my own space.
And if you’ve got ADHD, neurodivergent and/or complex trauma… you’ll probably get it.
Because this isn’t about furniture.
It’s about safety.
Regulation.
Being able to exist in your body without it screaming at you.
ADHD, Complex PTSD… and the body
When you live with ADHD, your nervous system is already seeking.
Seeking stimulation.
Seeking dopamine.
Seeking something to help you focus, settle, engage.
Add complex PTSD into the mix, and your body is also scanning.
Scanning for threat.
Scanning for discomfort.
Scanning for anything that doesn’t feel quite right.
So you’ve got this constant push-pull of:
“I need stimulation”
“I need to feel safe”
At the same time.
Which can feel exhausting.
And this is where the outside world, the environment, matters more than people realise.
The wrong setup = instant overwhelm
Hard chairs.
Stiff posture.
Nowhere to move.
I don’t last five minutes.
My body gets agitated.
I start fidgeting more.
My focus goes.
I get hot, irritated, distracted.
And then the shame creeps in…
“Why can’t I just sit still like everyone else?”
But it’s not about willpower.
It’s about what my nervous system needs.
The right chair?
Game changer.
Soft enough to feel held.
Big enough to sit cross-legged.
Space to move, shift, fidget.
Supportive without being restrictive.
A place where I can curl up, ground myself, or stretch out a bit when I need to.
It means my body isn’t fighting me while I’m trying to think, feel, listen or work.
And that frees up so much energy.
Why this matters (especially in therapy)
When the body feels safer, the mind can follow.
If I’m sitting there uncomfortable, restricted, overstimulated or under-supported…
I’m not fully present.
And if I’m not fully present, I’m not able to do the work I care so deeply about.
The same goes for clients.
That’s why my space isn’t clinical.
It’s:
Big comfy sofas
Chairs you can move in
Space to sit how you want
Cross-legged? Fine.
Curled up? Fine.
Feet tucked under you? Fine.
You don’t have to sit “properly” to be taken seriously.
Little things that aren’t little
This is something I talk about a lot.
Because people underestimate how much these “small” external things matter.
However, for ADHD and trauma?
They’re not small.
They’re the difference between:
Being able to stay
Or needing to leave
Being able to focus
Or completely switching off
Being able to feel
Or shutting it all down
It’s not just the chair
It’s the whole environment.
The drink in your hand.
The warmth.
The ability to move.
The freedom to be yourself without being corrected.
It all sends a message to your nervous system:
You’re okay here.
And when you feel okay?
That’s when things start to shift.
From “what’s wrong with me?” to “what do I need?”
For years, I thought I was the problem.
Too fidgety.
Too restless.
Too much.
Now I know better.
I don’t need to force myself into environments that don’t work for me.
I need to create environments that support me.
That chair is part of that.
And it might sound simple… yet it’s been powerful.
If you relate…
Look at your environment.
Not with judgement, with curiosity.
What helps your body feel supported?
What makes things harder?
What could you tweak, even slightly?
Because regulation isn’t just something we do internally.
It’s something we build externally too.
And sometimes?
It starts with something as simple as a chair.
Stay safe, stay connected & take gentle care,
Louise x
Associates link to the one i bought ☺️
