This image, and Punch’s story, stopped me.

Those viral clips of him sitting alone, clutching his little orange teddy like it was the only thing in the world he could trust. Watching the troop from a distance. Not quite in. Not quite out. Just… surviving.

And now? He’s inching closer.

Not dramatically.

Not all at once.

Not “fixed.”

Just a few inches nearer than yesterday.

For a Japanese macaque, where hierarchy matters and belonging is everything, that’s not small. That’s courage.

And honestly? It made me think about us.

Trauma and the Nervous System: Sitting on the Edge of the Group

When humans experience trauma, abandonment, neglect, loss, abuse, chronic stress, our nervous systems adapt to survive.

Sometimes that looks like:

• Sitting on the edge of relationships

• Watching but not joining

• Clutching tightly to the one thing that feels safe

• Trusting objects more than people

• Staying hyper-aware of everyone’s movements

We might look “fine.”

We might even function well.

But internally, we’re sitting slightly apart from the troop.

Punch holding his teddy isn’t weakness.

It’s regulation.

That toy is his safety cue. His nervous system anchor. The one thing that says, I’m not completely alone.

Humans do this too.

We hold onto coping strategies. Routines. Busyness. Work. A relationship. A therapist. Sometimes even anxiety itself, because at least it’s familiar.

And here’s the important part:

We don’t rip the teddy away.

Therapy Isn’t Forcing You Into the Circle

In therapy, we don’t drag someone into the middle of the group and say, “You’re safe now. Behave like it.”

That would overwhelm the nervous system.

Instead, we sit with you while you hold the teddy.

We let your body learn, slowly, that connection doesn’t equal danger.

We co-regulate.

We notice.

We pause.

We go at your pace.

Little by little, your nervous system begins to update.

You inch closer.

Not because someone pushed you.

Not because you “should.”

But because something inside feels just a tiny bit safer.

That’s healing.

The Quiet Privilege of Being a Therapist

There’s something deeply humbling about this work.

We often don’t see what happens next.

There isn’t a dramatic reunion scene.

No standing ovation.

No final episode where everything wraps up beautifully.

Sometimes it’s just a wave.

A goodbye.

A “thank you.”

And then you go back to your troop.

You build friendships.

You leave a relationship that wasn’t safe.

You start speaking up.

You apply for the job.

You rest.

You belong.

We don’t always get to witness the full circle forming.

But what a privilege it is to have sat beside you while you were still holding the teddy.

Not for us.

For you.

Joining Your Own Tribe

Punch isn’t fully inside the circle yet.

But he’s not outside of it anymore either.

That’s everything.

Belonging doesn’t roar.

It inches.

And maybe that’s what therapy is really about, not changing who you are, but helping your nervous system feel safe enough to join your tribe.

To find:

• Your people

• Your spaces

• Your version of safety

• Your own “teddy” … healthy, grounding, supportive

And maybe even a therapist who truly gets you.

Because when you feel understood, something softens.

You don’t have to perform.

You don’t have to fight for position.

You don’t have to sit quite so far away.

You can move a little closer.

And sometimes, a few inches closer than yesterday is the bravest thing you’ll ever do. 🐒✨

stay safe, stay connected & take gentle care

Louise x

If this resonates, you’re not on your own.

Pull up a chair.

I've got you.                

If you’re tired of carrying it alone, I’m here.

We can take it at your pace. No pressure. No fixing. Just space to be human.

📧 louisemalyancounselling@gmail.com

🌐 www.wildfirecounsellingtherapy.co.uk

Free, no-obligation intro chat, just to see if we’re the right fit.