ADHD Awareness Month, Day three. It’s the 11th of October. Of Course It Is. 😂

I had a plan. A really good plan, actually.

Throughout September, I decided I was going to write a blog every single day throughout October for ADHD Awareness Month.

Thirty-one days.

Thirty-one blogs.

Loads of ideas.

I was excited about it. I had all sorts of things I wanted to explore, share and talk about.

And then October arrived.

And here we are.

The 11th.

Blog number three! Well two actually as yesterdays was a fluke that i’d actually set an alarm to remind me it was world mental health day. 😂

Welcome to ADHD Awareness Month, brought to you by somebody with ADHD.

I couldn’t have demonstrated it better if I’d tried.

And do you know what? I’m absolutely okay with that.

Although that hasn’t always been the case.

I’ll start on Monday…

Does anybody else do this?

You decide you’re going to start something.

A new routine. A journal. Exercise. Eating differently. Sorting the house. A project you’ve been thinking about for months.

You have all the enthusiasm.

You can practically see how wonderful it’s going to be.

And then something happens.

You forget.

You get distracted.

Something else needs your attention.

You become overwhelmed.

You spend three hours doing something completely unrelated that suddenly feels incredibly important.

And before you know it, you’ve missed the day you were supposed to start.

So what do you do?

I’ll start Monday.

Or the first of next month.

Or when things calm down.

Or when you’ve got everything organised.

Because somehow starting on a Thursday, halfway through the week, doesn’t feel quite right.

And if you’ve already missed seven days, well, what’s the point now?

I know that thinking very well.

The difference is what I do next.

Years ago, I probably would have given myself a really hard time about this.

I’d have been annoyed with myself.

Called myself useless.

Wondered why I couldn’t stick to something so simple.

Perhaps decided I’d already ruined it and given up altogether.

And then that would have become another little piece of evidence in the enormous imaginary folder marked:

Things Louise Can’t Get Right.

Except I’ve done a lot of work on myself over the years.

And something I’ve learnt is that missing the plan doesn’t mean I’ve failed.

I can change the plan.

I can start on the 8th.

I can write two blogs instead of eight.

I can enjoy the process rather than turn it into another opportunity to criticise myself.

And I can still be proud of what I’ve done.

That might sound simple.

For somebody who has spent years struggling with perfectionism, shame, overwhelm and feeling not good enough, it can be quite a big thing.

What have I actually been doing?

Well, I’ve been colouring.

I’ve been doing other bits and pieces.

I’ve been trying to sort my mornings out and work out what helps me get going.

I’ve had things to do.

I’ve been living my life.

And this morning I’ve finally sat down to write.

Not because everything is perfectly organised.

Not because I’ve suddenly mastered ADHD.

Not because I’ve discovered some magical productivity trick.

Because today I’ve decided to give it a go.

And today counts.

The colouring counts too, by the way.

It’s something I enjoy. Sometimes it helps me settle, focus or have a little time without another demand being made of me.

It doesn’t need to be productive to be worthwhile.

That’s another thing I’ve had to learn.

This is what growth looks like for me.

Not having everything sorted.

Not suddenly being brilliant at routines.

Not becoming a completely different person.

It’s noticing the old thought:

You’ve missed a week. You’ve messed it up.

And being able to answer:

So what? I can start today.

It’s allowing myself to do something imperfectly.

It’s understanding that my brain doesn’t always work in the way I expected it to.

It’s being curious rather than immediately critical.

And perhaps most importantly, it’s not turning every unfinished plan into a judgement about who I am as a person.

I wasn’t born knowing how to do that.

I’ve worked hard on it.

Through therapy, recovery, understanding my ADHD, learning about myself and challenging beliefs I’d carried around for years.

And I still have days when the old thinking pops up.

The difference is that I don’t have to believe every bloody thought that arrives anymore. 😂

And this is something I want for my clients too.

When somebody comes to me struggling with ADHD, overwhelm, low self-worth or that constant feeling of getting life wrong, I’m not interested in giving them another set of rules they can fail at.

They’ve usually got enough of those already.

I’m interested in understanding them.

What happens when a plan changes?

What does it mean to them when they don’t finish something?

Where did they learn that doing something imperfectly meant they weren’t good enough?

What makes starting difficult?

What actually helps?

And how can we find ways of doing things that work for their life and their brain?

Sometimes that means practical ADHD coaching.

Sometimes it means exploring shame, childhood experiences, anxiety or perfectionism in therapy.

Sometimes it means looking at the expectations somebody has been carrying for years and asking whether they were ever realistic in the first place.

And sometimes it means giving yourself permission to start on a Thursday.

Or a sunday.

Or the 11th of October.

So here’s my ADHD Awareness Month promise.

I’m going to try to write a blog every day for the rest of October.

I might manage it.

I might miss a day.

I might suddenly write three in one afternoon because I’ve become completely absorbed in something.

I might get distracted by the dogs, my colouring pens or an idea for something entirely unrelated.

And if that happens?

I’ll come back to it.

No dramatic declaration that I’ve ruined everything.

No waiting for Monday.

No starting the whole challenge again because I didn’t follow my imaginary rules.

I’ll do what I can.

And I’ll enjoy sharing what I’ve learnt along the way.

Because progress isn’t cancelled because you weren’t consistent.

Perhaps you needed a different approach.

Perhaps life got in the way.

Perhaps you needed rest.

Perhaps your expectations were a little ambitious.

Perhaps you can start again today.

And perhaps that’s something worth celebrating rather than criticising.

So, if you’re reading this with a half-finished project, an abandoned journal, a pile of washing, seventeen ideas or something you’ve been meaning to start since January…

I see you. I hear you.

You don’t have to wait for Monday.

You don’t have to make up for the days you’ve missed.

You don’t have to earn the right to begin again.

You can start where you are.

And if tomorrow doesn’t go to plan, we can get curious about that too.

Anyway, it’s the 11th of October.

Blog number two. I mean three.

And I’m rather pleased with myself. ❤️

If any of this feels familiar and you’d like some help understanding your ADHD, finding ways of working with your brain or unpicking some of those old beliefs, I offer therapy and ADHD coaching in a way that meets you where you’re at.

There’s a free 15–20 minute intro call with no obligation, simply a chance to meet me and see whether I might be your person.

www.wildfirecounsellingtherapy.co.uk
louisemalyancounselling@gmail.com
WhatsApp: 07540 843727

Take gentle care,
Louise x

Louise Malyan
Psychotherapist Counsellor | ADHD Coach
Wildfire Counselling & Therapy